I'll come up with something in a minute.

5 things The Squares have historicaly disapproved of, but are really quite awesome

1. Miscegenation
Everything else in America is becoming homogenous, why not the people? Let’s mix everybody up until we can’t tell whether this one is that one or that one is this one or which one is what one or what one is who.

2. Gay Marriage
When everyone has the right, regardless of age, race, religion or sexual orientation, to loose half their stuff in a shitty divorce, then we’ll all be free.

3. Legalized Marijuana
If we make it legal, that just might shut the pot heads up for five minutes. That is until they start telling us about how The Cat in the Hat is “Like so deep man… ya know?”

4. Group Sex
It’s simply awesome both in theory and in practice. Consider that porn proves that people want to screw when they see other people screwing. Clearly it’s a team sport, like Basketball. Oh sure, you can play one on one (or just shoot hoops on your own) but it’s always better when the whole team plays.

5. Violent Video Games
Some days the only thing stopping me from running people over and shooting them is the fact that I can do it in the privacy of my own living room.

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June 4, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Open Letter

To: Douglas Fairbanks & Errol Flynn
From: Me
Re: Return

Gentlemen,

It cannot have escaped your attention (Unless of course the Atheists are right and there really is nothing after this world) that the state of movies is in a sorry state. To be perfectly frank, adventure movies are a dead art. I won’t bore you with examples, because this isn’t about complaining about the problem, this is about a solution. Gentlemen, the world needs you. Come back from the dead and show these sorry bastards how it’s done. Now I know what you’re going to say, one of you has been dead for almost 50 years and the other is working on 70, but I’ve got an idea for your come backs.

Follow me on this… Zombie Swashbuckling! It would get you an instant in with the young crowd, and it would actually be almost original!

June 4, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment