I'll come up with something in a minute.

Today tried to suck

The least sucky thing from today (how fucking sad is this? Honestly, I have to tell you about the thing that sucked the least about today) was having a long held belief shattered.

See, I always assumed that everyone knew that the bird is the word*, however Holly proved me not only wrong but super-wrong.

I mean what kind of world do we live in where a man dressed as a bat… not everyone knows that the bird is the word?

Makes me sick!

I wish I was in Paris, because then I could console myself with a cake, or a raspberry mousse tart. Best baked goods I ever had were in France. I figure it must go like this, the French are socialist atheists who used to be catholic (don’t contradict me or this doesn’t work) and so they know that life is shit, and that they live in a godless universe, but they want to believe in things like heaven and stuff. So they make a cake that is like heaven in your mouth. Go to Paris, go to this one small bakery that I can find but I can’t tell you how to get to (I R helpful!) and get a raspberry mousse tart. It’s like having an orgasm triggered by your mouth. You could go on for years, just knowing that stuff like this exists in the world. You don’t need to go to heaven because you can have a piece of this cake. That’s the French. They know god is lost to them, they know life is shit, they know that existence is fleeting and ultimately futile. The only thing that stops them from just offing themselves as a nation is their baked goods.

You can’t get stuff that good here, I’ve tried. I went to places that should be really good at it, they fail! People in this country believe in God and that life isn’t a huge pile of pain and misery. I figure that cake that good has to be born out of despair, possibly like the despair I feel from having to eat cakes made in this country. Deserts are pretty much the one thing I can’t do, so I’m more or less fucked.

What I’m trying to say is that if you guys really loved me you’d get me a ticket to Paris so I can have some decent baked goods.

EDIT: Even trying a simple link is a complete fucking fuck up. Fucking fuckfaced fuckers!

Advertisements

June 8, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment