I'll come up with something in a minute.

And now, another episode of “All y’all are pissin’ me off!”

You know what I really can’t stand? When some asshole, left or right wing, drags out The Children as a way to defend their fairly shaky political ideas. People on the right have been pulling this shit for years as an excuse to remove every freedom we might ever have, but lately I’ve caught people on the left doing it too. I’ve seen is used as an excuse to try and remove any kind of slightly interesting ideas from our TV and radios, because The Children might be listening or watching and could see or hear something offensive that would warp their minds, as well as trying to ban gays because it would confuse children to see two men holding hands.

It makes my skin crawl to hear these reprehensible bastards talking like this. It’s the single most evil and pernicious of all the right’s talking points. Even stupidity like “Better safe than sorry” pales in comparison to “Won’t someone think of The Children?”

Lately though, I’ve read people saying that we need to protect the environment because how are you going to look at your child and say “I polluted the environment and made the world a toxic place to live” which I find just as bad as the right’s examples. Never mind that most the people who do the actual polluting think that pollution is bad but starvation sucks, and have an extra mouth to feed if they’re expected to face their children. Those guys and gals aren’t in charge, and as things currently stand it’s not nice to spit in the eye of what could be the only job left in town. It’s one thing to ask a 20 year old with no one to look after but themselves to take a stand, but a 35 year old with 2 kids has this terrible time asking the 4 and 6 year olds to please try and live off the ideals of some people they’ve never met. You want to tell a child how nice it is that Daddy lost his job because he refused to dump waste into the river? I suggest you go explain it to them while the sheriff and his deputies are taking their toys away as part of the repossession proceedings, I’m sure they’ll be very interested in hearing all about it.

While on the subject, I think it’s a little naïve to think you can guilt trip the people in charge anyway, since those greedy motherfuckers have no souls and eat lightly toasted babies for breakfast. If these asscacti could be guilt tripped, it would have been done in the 70s, or the 80s, or the 90s. Let’s face it, calling them a naughty-nellie ain’t cuttin’ it. These shit bags get off on the idea that they’re destroying the world and making a buck while they’re doing it. They don’t care because by the time it becomes and issue, they figure they’ll be dead.

It’s not just the environment, the lefties have pulled the same “how will you face your children” crap in the last few years over a number of subjects. The question “How will you tell your children that you voted for small minded bigotry?” has the same ring to me as “How will you face your children knowing you allowed what being married means change forever?” in that they are both grabbing a kid as a purely emotional response instead of arguing on merit. All kinds of reprehensible shit has been pulled in the name of protecting The Children or having to face The Children or explain things to The Children and I’ve always found it sort of cowardly.

It’s not just cowardly, it sort of proves to me that whatever argument I’m listening to can just be ignored. The person who holds up The Children knows that they’ve got nothing left and it’s either hold up a child and claim you’re fighting for them, or admit your prejudices and the fact that you just want to have control over others.

The shame of it is that I think the environmentalist argument does have merit, the gay marriage argument also has merit, and so I get disgusted seeing weak and emotional wedges used this way. It makes people think that you’ve got a hidden agenda, because no one who uses The Children doesn’t have a hidden agenda. The Children are ALWAYS used as a last ditch effort to deflect people from seeing that you’re arguments are wholly based on an indefensible private agenda. Put The Children down, come out from behind them and actually defend your arguments for yourselves.

Seriously! Here, I’ll help you… “We need to research new sources of cleaner fuels now because even if we drill the shit out or ANWR we wouldn’t get that oil for 10 to 20 years, it would lower the price by 15 cents and one of our biggest domestic problems is that we don’t have enough refineries. You’ll need more refineries first, can I put one in your town?” See? None of those needed The Children and all of them are more or less accurate.

Either that, or join me in the idea that whatever Gods might actually exist are probably more the old pagan, don’t give a shit about you or anything else, variety and that humans were sent to be an extinction event. Geologically speaking it makes sense, we have fucked this place up in the blink of an eye when you put it on a galactic time scale. It really cools you out to think that all we’re doing is what we were sent to do and you can have a drink and relax while it all falls down around you knowing that the job is being done properly. Also, you don’t need to worry about The Children because they’ll be wiped out with the rest of us when the job is completed, we’re wonderfully self-cleansing in our own little way.

When you hold up The Children, you loose my respect, and you really loose it if you have no children of your own and have never had that waking night of wondering if you’re going to be able to feed and clothe them. At that point, I just think that you’re threatening someone else’s children, and that take you from irritating to contemptible.

I’m a fairly left leaning guy. I believe in abortion and evolution and the environment and consenting adults doing what ever the hell they want with or to other consenting adults, but one thing I don’t believe in is using The Children. It’s cowardly and stupid and below you no matter who you are.

Fuck The Children… when they’re old enough and if they want to be fucked of course.

July 21, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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