I'll come up with something in a minute.

“The Greatest Campaign Ever”

I would like to show you guys a letter I received nearly four years ago after I penned a book about the election and then hopped in my time machine to try and get it published as a satirical novel.

Letter Dated March 27th 2005

From the office of Steve Editorman Huffin-Malfoy Publishing

Dear Mr. —-

We are returning you’re satirical novel “The Greatest Campaign Ever” because while amusing in many respects, it is far too fanciful to even count as political satire. To be honest, you’re whimsy took you too far. A few points on how extreme and unrealistic your jokes were follows…

While the idea of a black man running for president it’s that new, did you really have to go so far as to make his middle name Hussein? Taken even further, making his last name one letter off from Osama, which gave our computer spell checker a problem I can tell you. Then to suggest that most of the campaigning would be performed by college students and other young adults. Perhaps you are new to politics, but the youth vote doesn’t really count for that much. Having a ‘can do no wrong’ candidate followed by worshipful youth was almost enough for a horror novel rather than political satire.

Moving on to your Republican candidate, who you made look like a doddering old fool. Its one thing to make a joke about people running on their war record, but in one memorable scene you had him refer to his prisoner of war status when asked a question about the economy. Speaking of the economy, we found it genuinely absurd that a republican president would push for a trillion dollar bail-out for a few banks.

While I personally found the section about the plumber who stumps the candidate and thus becomes a hero of the right-wing blogs before being shown to have lied about almost everything in his question when becoming a favorite target of the left-wing blogs, it does smack of attacking the working class. One might wish to point out the high-flying fantasy of having this non-plumber performing more television interviews than the VP choice.

Your book suffers from too many storylines, which often hurts new writers. The winking Republican vice-presidential candidate almost took over the book for a while there. Having a woman, and a governor who had only served half a term, seemed like piling it on. To have her be such an incurious and almost seemingly stupid person just looked like misogyny. While on the subject, is Wasilla even a real place? I looked it up on a map of Alaska and I couldn’t find it. Also, Katie Couric is a morning presenter and while she may appreciate the promotion, having her do the interview that sank the VP really hurts the credibility of the whole piece.

Near the end of the book, the storytelling becomes almost insanely frantic in its attempts to ram every idea in. The hundred thousand dollar shopping spree, the president in hiding, the self-mutilating supporter, and of course the infomercial which was so ridiculous that I felt it sank what good will the book had earned. I found the book interesting enough to get to the end, but over all I think we would be laughed out into the streets if we tried to publish this.

Not wishing to discourage you too far, but you satire is a fine line which one must walk carefully.

Yours Sincerly

Steve Editorman,
Huffin-Malfoy Publishing.

November 10, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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