I'll come up with something in a minute.

Five things that bug me on the Internet

Just a few things that have been annoying me as of later.

1. Bad spelling
I’m not talking about typos, or just plain putting too many h’s in sandwich. Mistakes I can handle, even people who are being lied to by their spell checker. I’m talking about things like phishing. Why not just call it fishing? The scam is they send out a line to try and get you to bite it. You don’t need the ph in there. We don’t spell it chroll, do we? No! Troll works there. Lolcats bug some people, but I forgive most of them. Well, I forgive some of them. When they reach the level that I have to sound out the words I loose patience and set the whole computer on fire. So really, let’s learn to spell a little, huh?

2. Pedos
No, I will not admit Lolicon is a legitimate manga format, with great story telling and compelling pictures. It sexualizes children and makes me want to make sure your name is on a list. Not a nice list either, not a government list, but a list held by one of those groups of unbalanced people who are bigger criminals than the people they claim they’re bringing to justice. It’s just plain fuckin’ creepy! I don’t care that the girl being DP’d by an octopus…ish thing is supposed to be 400 years old and really into it, it looks like they’re raping a 10 year old and that’s just not on. Also, the little girl on Lazy Town? Yeah, she was eleven when those were made. Making a gif where you simulate her mouthing the words “Fuck Me” while flashing the words on screen ain’t cool either. Countdowns to teenaged actresses 18th birthdays also creep me right the fuck out and makes me want to keep you away from the children.
It may be that virtual child pornography is not ‘intrinsically related’ to the sexual abuse of children, but it is fuckin’ creepy to me.

3. Furries as kicking posts
I mean really. Like your lifestyle is so wholesome and blameless. And if it is, you have my pity and possibly a little of my disgust. No matter what you’re doing, someone either finds it disgusting, soul crushingly dull, amazingly restrictive, just plain weird or really kinda hot. Sometimes you get to pick more than one on that list. Some people think being restricted is really hot. Besides, 90% of the furries I know are hugely inoffensive people. Besides one or two, I’ve never really had much of a problem with furries. I’m not into it, but I can see that they’re just trying to have some fun and make the internet go. Besides, 70% of catgirls are HOT! Try this, take an average girl, now give her cat ears and a tail. See? Her cute factor just went up 20%! Can’t argue with that! There’s numbers and little math symbols and everything, it’s fact now. There is also the factor that many of said catgirls have brains and you might like to talk to them, but I’ve been feeling sexist and naughty all week so why mention things that might get me out of trouble when I’m in so deep?

4. Racism can be funny!
No, no it can’t and you’re an asshole for saying it can. You don’t even spear racism very well with your so called “Ironicly racist humor” which is neither funny nor ironic which marks your ‘joke’ as a failure on all points.

5. Tits or GTFO!
Any and all related statements, phrases, thoughts, ideas, and gestures towards that notion. If you’re going for some kind of joke or shock value, you’ve got to be actually clever or new for either of those. I know, you think you’re being amusing or at least you heard an old Andrew Dice Clay album and the people were laughing on the track, but consider it HAD to be an old album because no one has liked anything he’s done since about 1989 and he wasn’t funny before or after that really. You can’t shock me (you’re not willing to go far enough, trust me) and and this shit just ain’t funny. If you don’t act nice you’ll never get even a little bit of sex unless some girl takes a profound amount of sympathy on you and even then I would suspect she’s making up for Sweden if she does.

6. People who make lists
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people? Can’t they write something without bullet points? Do they think we have no attention span? I mean most of them can’t even count! Fuck those people!

Bonus #7: My bad writing, which leads me having to re-edit these stupid posts 97 damn times!

November 29, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

2 Comments »

  1. Wow! Now there’s a list! (About #5, my problem is I find it difficult to restrict myself to just the list. I tend to say too much.)

    Comment by dhconcerts | November 29, 2008 | Reply

  2. Brilliantly written (for something that’s been edited 97 times, of course)! I had to add this to my blog roll!

    *And might I add to the list

    8. People (like me) who use way too many exclamation points when leaving a comment on a blog.

    Comment by bandnerdtx | December 1, 2008 | Reply


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