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Can’t do it

You know what I just have the hardest time accepting? I mean, I know I’m wrong about this, I know it’s a prejudice and that I should let it go, I know this is a gitoffamylahnisn, but I just… every time I see it I just look and say “that just don’t look right.”

Here it is, my secret shame, feathered dinosaurs.

When I was a kid, dinosaurs were big lizard looking things. One or two might have had something like feathers, archaeopteryx had feathers and could sort of fly, but it wasn’t a regular thing, you know? It was sort of an idea. Then people decided that they turned into birds and the feathers started to come out again. Then someone found some fossils with feathers on them, or maybe just found one and it became the flavor of the month, I don’t know. What I know is that now they’ve all got feathers.

Have you taken a good hard look at the velociraptor lately? It looked like a big turkey! Just like the kid in Jurassic Park said! A turkey with a mouth full of teeth and some kick ass claws, but still… not the monster of our dreams. Even the Utahraptor, which the raptors in the movie were sort of based on (but not really) got the feather treatment.

And their not the only ones, lots of dinosaurs that didn’t have feathers before are now being redesigned with the feather motif. I expect any day now to discover that T-Rex had a big pink feather-boa looking crest around its neck with blue and green racing stripes. Let have a look… Aw fuck, it might have had feathers too! They’re all doing it now!

When I was a kid, they were just getting over the idea that dinosaurs dragged their tales and were cold blooded. I was perfectly willing to accept the warm-blooded swift moving dinosaurs, but now I’ve got to deal with feathers and probably a propensity to dance to disco music. I’m sure at some point they’ll tell me that they wore high heels and sang drunken karaoke after work.

I just have a problem with it because they always look wrong to me. Like I say, I know that I’m the one who is in the wrong here, I know that, but I can’t help the fact that it doesn’t look right. I suppose part of it also is based in the fact that dinosaurs only started having feathers a few years ago, or rather scientists only came to the conclusion a few years ago. So lots and lots of images of dinosaurs don’t have feathers, the ones that they now claim did have feathers. So I’ve got conflicting reports, haven’t I? The raptors in Jurassic Park didn’t have no feathers! The raptors in Walking with Dinosaurs didn’t have no feathers. Now they tell me that raptors had feathers so I’ve got to try and picture them with feathers. When they make documentaries now they update the look, but it LOOKS WRONG!

I think what probably worries me most is that things like Jurassic Park are already as flawed and out of date as the tail dragging dinosaurs from the 1925 version of The Lost World which is where you get that shot of a Brontosaurus curling it’s lip before fighting a T-Rex. I assume when my nephew gets old enough to watch Jurassic Park I’ll have to argue with him that it was very much up to date at the time it was made. Deep down though, I’ll know that it’s right for not having the raptors wear feathers.

February 9, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment