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Five Things Guys Do To Girls That I Can’t Stand

Five Things Guys Do To Girls That I Can’t Stand

1. Arm candy
“Oh, her? Yeah, she’s cute isn’t she? No, don’t try talking to her, she’s just for decoration. She doesn’t think, or feel, or have any opinions or emotions of her own. She’s just here to show that a guy like me can score a chick like her.”
Ugh. The trophy wife, the bracelet, liquid sex for the arm, what ever you want to call it. It bugs the shit out of me when I see it. It annoys me to see a guy just parading a girl around so his buddies will know how well he’s doing, but really it pisses me off because most the time the girl isn’t really regarded as a person at all. If it were cooler to have a German Shepherd than a girl, these guys would go around with a dog. The girl is just used as an accessory, like the expensive suit and the car and all the other things he has but could care less about. He’d mind if you took one away, because that would constitute a failure on his part, but he won’t mind getting rid of one just to get whatever is the latest fashion. Maybe the girl is partly to blame, but I doubt it. What you tend to have there is a timid girl who isn’t good about asserting herself.

This leads into number two…

2. Judging their brains by their looks.
“Oh why are you reading and trying to better yourself? You can get by with your looks. Don’t worry your pretty little head about all this book learning stuff. And now that I’ve told you that, I will treat you like you have the mental acuity of a schnauzer.”
Good looking girls, more than plain girls, are ignored for anything besides their looks. They’re told that their brains aren’t important, so long as they look good. Plain girls (sadly) are told they’d better smarten up because they can’t hook a man with those cheek bones. Not that the plain girls are ever judged to be actually intelligent mind, but they have a better chance of not having what intellect they have completely discredited. The pretty though, they will be treated like their brains are made of marshmallow fluff no matter how many PhDs and high level jobs they have. Your basic pretty girl had better be an empty headed bimbo, because she’s going to be treated like one anyway.

3. Being a Nice Guy
“Why don’t those girls want to date me? Can’t they seem I’m a Nice Guy rather than the jerks they’re dating? Stupid bitches, what’s their problem? They just like dating jerk. Blah, blah, blah, this goes on for the next hour or so.”
This is totally a thing that guys do to girls. No arguments. The only people who will argue about it are the Nice Guys who want to complain that this doesn’t apply to them, often while proving that it does. They annoy me both for the way they invariable treat women, and the way they make guys who are just trying to be nice feel. I could go on about what I mean, or I could just tell you to hit this link or this link where I talked about it before and get on with my list.

4. The weight/looks thing.
“She needs to loose a few pounds. Her titties just ain’t big enough. Pass me another case of beer will ya? She’d be alright if you put a bag over her face. We got anymore bags of them porkrinds? She should dress better. Nah, I didn’t need t shave today, I ain’t goin’ to church.”
Now I know we judge things by looks. The visual cortex is the largest sensory input center in the brain. We get something like 60% of our information about the world through our eyes. So yeah, we’re going to look and we’re going to make judgments based on those looks. However, to hear some of these losers talk, you’d think they were a pack of marble sculpted Greek gods rather than a pack of fat, unkempt pack of losers who, despite claims that it’s a vicious and untrue stereotype, really do live I their mom’s basements. Looking at even the most basic upkeep the average woman is expected to perform, and then the upkeep that the average guy can’t be bothered with today, you get a pretty big difference. I’m not mister clean shaven, suit and tie man myself, but then I don’t claim a girl is a dog just because she didn’t look like she just stepped off the cover of Vogue every minute of every day. I have a suit, I do know how to tie a tie, you can dress me up and take me out. However, you can also stay home and spend one day unshowered and not shave your legs and just sit in your jimmies all day and I won’t complain. It’s sort of cute really. AND if I might add, seeing a woman in that state is a better indicator of what you’re going to be getting into anyway.

5. Physical Intimidation
“I’ll hurt you bad if you ever try to leave me.”
The quote could have been anything, I went with that sentence. Few things have me reaching for the tire thumper and redefining “tire” in the broadest or most metaphorical terms*, like a guy trying to bully a woman through the implied or direct threat of violence. Anyone who has actually read about rape, rather than just joked about it, knows that the implication doesn’t even have to be that direct. In many cases, women are expected to just expect violence and intimidation, and the rest of us are supposed to turn a blind eye. It’s not just that society turns a blind eye to men abusing women. It’s not just that society trains men to think only in aggressive terms toward anything. In fact, it’s not just one anything. It’s a big issue, possibly one of the biggest between men and women. The general threat of violence hangs over most of our interactions, and if most men can’t see them I know most women can. That of course becomes one of the biggest problems, that men aren’t even aware (or want to pretend they aren’t) when they’re at their most threatening. I have a solution though, it involved electrodes, testicles and a review board made up of rape victims. I’m not saying it’s perfect, I’m saying it’ll make a hell of a reality TV show.

*I AM AWARE OF THE IRONY!

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March 2, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Art & Artlessness

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March 2, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Swords & Movies

You know the biggest difference between sword movies made in America and those made in Japan?

*Shing!*

It’s not one single noise, but a collection of noises really. In American movies, when a sword or knife is drawn from its sheath, there is a sound that accompanies the action. Little note about foley work, check out how often there is a sound that goes with an action that wouldn’t have a sound or at least not a noticeably loud sound in a movie sometime. One you know that between 30% and 80% of the audio is laid down later it makes the movies sound a lot different. If you really watch listen closely you can begin to recognize when ADR has been used to loop the dialogue. Don’t get me started on gunshots.

ANYWAY!

In American movies the drawing of a sword is audibly defined by the sound of something grinding against the blade calculated to make a sword collector cringe and scream “Something is caught in the scabbard! You should not have that sound!” at the top of their lungs until they are hoarse and hiding under their desk weeping. Okay, maybe that’s just me. There are actually a lot of sounds that blades have in movies that they just plain shouldn’t. Folders sound like they’ve got sand in them, knives and swords get ground against protruding nails, and of course there are all those wooshing sounds. I don’t mind the wooshing sounds so much, because swords can make a woosh if you swing them right. What I mind a little is the loud woosh-woosh sounds from people picking up a sword and moving it around at low speed. Xena is exempt from this complaint because I’ve always sort of assumed it was done as parody.

Japanese movies don’t do this. For the most part, the only sound is a tiny clink of the sword against the wood as the sword is drawn and no sound for the swinging of the blade. You get almost no added sounds from the weapons in a Japanese movie until you bring on the guns. I’ve only seen maybe three Japanese movies with anything even approaching even believable sound effects when it comes to guns.

There are also major differences in what each side of the ocean calls a sword fight as well. American sword fights can go on for days at a time, often running around the whole set while the two fighters (usually there are only two) smack each others swords together in a serious attempt to not hit each other. It’s greatly based on sport fencing and is as far removed from the martial skill as you can be while still holding a weapon.

Japan’s sword fighting, again, doesn’t do that. There is almost no blade on blade contact and the fight regularly lasts mere seconds after the initial sizing up period. Often an entire fight will only contain one actual cut. This is why your action packed samurai movie has to have the hero standing up to anywhere from 10 to 40,000* other guys in any given fight. If you want to keep the fight going you have to have more people for your hero to cut down.
*I’ve heard that in the last Lone Wolf and Cub movie Ogami Ittō killed more people that Chuck Norris and John Rambo combined.

Just as a note, I’m not mentioning Hong Kong movies here because until the 90s there was almost no recorded sound in HK films. Most movies would be shot as silent movies and would only have sound laid down later. As a result every sound in your average HK movie from before about ’94 is going to be completely made up of foley work and looped dialogue.

March 2, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment