I'll come up with something in a minute.

Random Mental Firings

I as reading this article, and taking a poll that a friend made (it’s locked so I can’t link it) and in the poll he made the comment that girls could take the poll too because girls date girls as well. That got me thinking about something though.

Okay, maybe some of you don’t know this and maybe some of you do, but I skipped college. Not ashamed of it, but whenever someone talks about “Just something I did in college” I have to just sort of nod and agree that I understand the process of being between 17 and 24 and doing things you might not do later in life. I get that part, but I missed the whole college thing.

HOWEVER! I have done the things you do in those days and I dated some variety of most the girls mentioned in the article, as well as a variety of others. But I did it while dating Syd and mostly it was FWB territory. The thing is, I caught myself thinking about that and thinking about girls and groups dating and a funny idea struck me.

In a poly relationship, unless things are kept completely chambered off, you are actually sort of dating your partner’s other partners aren’t you? Even if you’re not sleeping together or are romantically linked, there is more than just hanging out when you hang with them as a group isn’t there? I’d like to work this into a more definite post, but I can’t really because I’ve always been the central person in these situations. It seems like that should be written by someone who has been the one who has a partner dating someone they’re not with. Syd and Holly have never dated outside the group, as it were. There is likely more “are we dating too?” tension if the two unconnected people are bi or if it’s a gay relationship.

March 19, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,


  1. I’d definitely agree with you on that this. I’m in a similar position to you though, where I either I have had additional partners, or both my & my better fraction have both been involved with the partner in questions. I’d definitely be interested in any posts on the topic though.

    Comment by T | March 21, 2009 | Reply

  2. I think that that’s definitely true. I certainly find that I am drawn to my partners partners & tend to go a little further than I normally would to form friendships with them.
    It’s taken a while with the latest one, and a little mud being slung at me, but it all washes off, & my persistance seems to be paying off a little now. And it’s so great when it does! :o)

    Comment by PolyMe | January 11, 2011 | Reply

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