I'll come up with something in a minute.

“Before you were born, your parents were happy.” – Capt. Hook

Every June and every September I see something that makes my blood boil. It’s the jokes the basically state that parents hate their children. Clearly, they hate their kids because they’re so crushed every June when school is over and so elated when September comes and they can make them the school system’s problem again. It is THE standard joke when dealing with parents and kids. Of course the reverse is true when it’s the teachers, they celebrate in June and cry in September.

It’s like everyone hates children. Children seem to be the great unwanted group in our society, no one wants to have anything to do with them once they stop being fetuses. I mention the fetus thing because unwanted children being abused are one of my personal reasons for remaining a pro-choice type person. It also makes me wonder why these people chose to have children or chose to have a job where they would be near children, since they clearly hate them so much. Is the expectation of society that hard to defy? Were you held down and forced to have children? Were you held down and forced to become a teacher? Why do these people hate kids?

It’s not just one place either, I see it in movies, magazine articles, sitcoms, commercials, comics and even greeting cards. Not only that, but I see it every single year. This joke is so ubiquitous and everyone is supposed to find it soooo hilarious, that any sensitive child will be bombarded by it constantly for two solid months every year. Once in the summer, once in the fall. The message is constant and unmistakable. “All adults hate you!” and of course a little kid can’t understand why, because they’re just trying to be the best they can be.

Yeah, I know about comic exaggeration, but comedy is also supposed to be inventive and unexpected. Even if we allow the exaggeration claim, it is neither inventive nor is it unexpected since I see the sentiment a hundred times twice a year. It seems to be an accepted meme that everyone hates children, they are nothing but a hassle and that you should be more than happy to hand off to someone else.

And yet people keep asking the childless, “When are you going to have kids?”

I say people keep asking the childless because no one asks me anymore. The last time someone did I asked, “Why are you so obsessed with what comes out of my crotch or the crotch of my loved ones? Seriously, it’s getting a little disturbing.”

People don’t ask me that question anymore.

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June 15, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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