I'll come up with something in a minute.


New Idea for a sci-fi short story.

A woman is dumped by a man, but she still dearly loves him. Maybe she cjheated on him, maybe he caught her jamming to The Steve Miller Band. Whatever, he dumps her. She begs what can she do to win him back, he sends her the lyrics to Scarborough Fair. She decides to perform the list of actsWITH SCIENCE!

At the end, she send him the alternate lyrics where the woman makes equally grand demands and tells him when he’s done all that she’s got his shirt ready.

I came up with this when I read the lyrics last night and came to the conclusion that this is without a doubt the pettiest song I’ve ever read.

August 2, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Don’t haggle

I really hate stories like this one, because they encourage fucking hagglers. If there people that I should be allowed to publicly execute, it should be fucking hagglers. I went to the bookstore yesterday to buy a book. Within ten seconds I went from walking in the door to standing in line. Five full minutes later, I was out the door. Because these two fucking hagglers had decided to try and finagle every kind of deal they could from the guy behind the counter. They had to open another register because of these fucking hagglers (You’ll notice I don’t call them people, hagglers are people) who incidentally were still there when I left the store, and I was tenth in line. That’s not an isolated incident either. Every time I’ve ever seen hagglers, there is always a line of angry people who just want to get the one thing they came in for and go, but can’t because some fucking haggler is in the way trying to get something for nothing. If they’d worked at a job with that time, they could have done something productive and earned enough to not need the discount, and the clerks wouldn’t hate them either. As someone who has worked as a clerk at a store where people tried to haggle, I can tell you we fucking HATED those people and would actively try not to give them a good deal.

If you really want something, pay the fair price for it. If you’re only going to buy it if you can get some kind of secret “deal” which will cost you in time, effort, and the bad feelings the store clerks will have for you, then you really don’t want it. If you want to REALLY save money then stop buying things just to buy them! Don’t eat when you’re not hungry, don’t drink when you’re not thirsty and don’t buy a fucking TV set when you have one that works just to get 2 more inches on the screen!

Except books, you should buy more books. But don’t haggle, the book sellers have enough to deal with as it is.

August 2, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment