I'll come up with something in a minute.

WARNING: Contains profanity and trigger words.

Dear Sears,

I know it’s hard right now, but do we have to have fucking* commercials for cunting* Christmas† already? Sweet merciful fuck* by a very experienced hooker with a heart of 18 karat gold, I do not want to see this shit* licking yuletide† shit* at this fucking* time of year.

Stop being whores! I know it’s how your mother sucked cock for money, but you don’t have to follow in her footsteps.

Please! For the love whatever it is that you find holy, even if it turns out to be the Baby Jesus, stop putting fucking* Christmas† shit* up before motherfucking± Halloween!

Please die in a ditch with a rat eating your asshole,

†Trigger Word
±Nothin’ wrong with that word.

October 11, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment