I'll come up with something in a minute.

I resolve not to resolve

There are only three reasons to post about New Year’s Resolutions.
1. Because you want your friends to keep you honest and help you seem them through.
2. Show people that you’re flawed and deserving of their sympathy.
2. Prove how clever you can be and make the unwashed masses (that would be about 80% of you lot) think that you’re above their mental level.

I choose the third option. As a result, I will announce my resolutions through the medium of song! The lyric selected isn’t the resolution to much as just a good line from the song that comes close to the idea. This way it’ll be obscure, unclear of meaning, and of course terribly unclear. This way, it’s completely up to me to say what the intention was when I don’t feel like doing whatever idea I had when I posted this. It also makes a mockery of the entire resolution process and satirically stabs at the heart of our complacent middle class existence. Which is nice. I get to insult our way of life, while not actually trying to change it or do anything but bitch and moan.

Anyway, onto the three resolutions for this year…

I will comb my hair in a pompadour, like the rest of the Romeos wore.

I’ll get lost, which is just where I’m supposed to be.

I will fight evil in my red pajamas.

January 4, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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