I'll come up with something in a minute.

There are no metaphors!

Let’s think about this, these two were making love all afternoon. Then the guy goes to wash his face, which can’t take that long. When the guy returns, in the tiny interval of time that has passed, there’s already someone else screwing her? What kind of slut is this Cecilia chick?

And don’t give me any of that metaphor crap! It’s a well-known fact that there is no metaphor in pop music. Prince was really singing about watching some one dance around in a violet hued downpour.

January 20, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Etiquette (pt 2)

When at a dinner party, it is considered highly gauche if one uses the fish fork to eviscerate the host’s brother. A good host should provide a Brother Killing Knife, which in a properly kept household should have a red handle and a narrow razor sharp blade. One should not make a scene, simply pick up the knife, walk behind the brother, grab his forehead, pressing the back of his head against either the chair or yourself, and cut his throat with a single swift stroke before stabbing him in the chest just to make sure. Press the head down after cutting the throat to avoid excess blood spray and make sure to leave the knife in the chest to avoid an even large mess.

After the dinner is over, it is generally considered a requirement to remove the body for your host and offering to pay for any cleaning which inevitably will have to be performed.

January 20, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment