I'll come up with something in a minute.

Vicky and Bert – Royal Boning

When people talk about the Victorians being stuffy, repressed, and terrified of sex, they tend to forget that Vicky and Bert fucked like mad weasels. Seriously, look it up. The Queen of England and her Prince Consort did the nasty no less than 86 times a day. You’ve got to eat right to keep up that level of activity. I have no idea how she found time to sit on the throne what with all the time she spent sitting on his face. I must assume the way a Prince Albert got its name must be false. I can’t imagine he kept it out of her long enough to get it pierced frankly. They must have needed a hell of a lot of creams to keep from chafing as it was.

I’m saying they did it on a fairly regular basis.

February 2, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Isambard Kingdom Brunel (a poem)

Isambard Kingdom Brunel faked his own death so he would have more time for his true passion… engineering the perfect doughnut!

Every word I’ve ever told you is true.

Even the shit I made up.

It’s all true.

Isambard Kingdom Brunel MAKES it true.

Isambard Kingdom Brunel engineers the fuck out of problems.

The only thing greater than Isambard Kingdom Brunel, is Fancy.

Fancy runs this show bitches!

And don’t you forget it.

February 2, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment