I'll come up with something in a minute.

Hipster Score

Point system

I’ve had an idea, I just need to work on it a little.

What if, right, you gave people points on how much of a hipster they were. Yuppie, goth, indie, scenester, hippie, or whatever kink or group you’re talking about, they could all have point system.

A facial piercing, that’s five points. A tattoo that’s visible in normal outfits, that’s a five points each. A point for every can of Pabst Blue Ribbon they consume every day and another for every cupcake they eat. Four points for known an obscure local band, six if they actually have a recording contract and ten if it’s on a label that nobody has ever heard of. If it’s a known label that has a presence, you actually start to loose points. Likewise, if anyone else has heard this band mentioned anywhere even remotely mainstream you dip into the negative points there. You’d also loose points for having more than the bear minimum of furniture and amenities. Every extra chair looses you two points.

Eventually, you could work out everyone’s hipster score. This isn’t percentage you’re working on here. You’ll never reach pure 100% Hipsterificness. You just keep racking up points like in Pac-Man. I guess at a certain level you’d just fill the bar with 999999999, but you’d have to be a pretty egregious piece of hipsterdom to achieve that level.


After a while you could turn those hipster points in for valuable prizes. Maybe after 3000 hipster points you can get a copy of some incredibly obscure local band’s only album on vinyl or something. You know, one of those groups that only existed long enough to get into the studio and cut six songs before they broke up again? Yeah, one of those.

I’ll need to work out how the metrics on that would work. I’m going to go ahead and assume they won’t.

March 21, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Unhelpful turtle can’t help you


Continue reading

March 21, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment