I'll come up with something in a minute.

Twilight Moms

I keep seeing this photo about the Twilight Moms, and to be honest, I think it’s hooey. I remember lots of 40 something men talking about when Britney or the Olsens were going to turn 18. I remember the “Countdown to Legal” clocks. I remember being very creeped out by guys discussing how cool it would be when… the girl who plays Hermione in Harry Potter, was going turn 18 and do a spread in Playboy. It was creepy because she was like 15 at the time. No one actually called the cops though, no one bitched, everyone got on with their day.

No one made a big deal about these guys drooling over these under–aged girls. It’s just been accepted that men will look at young girls, always has been.

I think people are just pissed because women are being active in a way that they’ve always been told to be passive. Girls aren’t supposed to drool, and they’re not supposed to be interested in fit, hard, muscular, and worst of all young(!) men. The little boys posing as men, particularly the ones who are soft, flabby, weak, and worst of all, old(!) don’t like it. These bitches are in our tree house and they brought their girl-cooties with them! OH NOES!

Fuck! We’re going to have to… I dunno, learn not to be douchebags all the time or something. We’re going to have to learn where a clitoris is, or not to leave our undies on the floor all the time, or even (GASP) listen when they talk or some shit. I mean seriously, once they start panting over young boys (like men have been panting over your girls since the year dot) then shit is going to start getting real! They may want to vote next! Hell, any minute now they might start resenting us smacking them around when we’ve had a bad day. WOMEN! I tell ya!

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June 23, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

#23

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June 23, 2010 Posted by | Photo | | Leave a comment

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June 22, 2010 Posted by | Photo | | Leave a comment

A moment of stupid

I had a really stupid moment the other day. I was reading the news and this story about 4.2 million gallons of oil are gushing into the Gulf of Mexico everyday jumped out at me. The reason it did is the moment of stupidity. I actually had a moment where I thought “Is that still going on? Is there still oil gushing in?”

I knew there was still oil in the Gulf, and I knew that the clean up effort had barely started, but for some reason I thought the well had been plugged or had run out or something. I think it’s because this has been going on so long that my brain had sort of assumed that they’d at least fixed part one of the problem. I ask you to please remember that this is a self-admitted moment of stupid, probably brought on by a lack of sleep. I have since slept and acceptable amount of time.

Still, has anyone else had a moment like that? Where you sort of assumed that the problem was being dealt with by clever people in government and industry? You know, the ones who are working together to build a brighter future for us all? Yeah, those guys from the shorts they used to make in the ‘50s. Then you wake up from your fever dream of jet packs and atomic cars (seriously where the hell is my atomic car?) only to find that neither group can manage to save the day? I’m not actually blaming anyone who hasn’t managed to stop the leak by the way. As far as I can tell, that shit is fucked up in ways that science and industry hadn’t quite anticipated. It seems that I can blame BP’s board for not making sure that their platform was safe. As far as I can tell, they had things secured with bubble gum and the dreams of Chinese orphans.

Now, I don’t wish to blame the manufactures of Bubblicious, but their fine product should in no way be used to secure oilrigs. I have no idea about the use of Chinese orphans dreams, I personally use the Faith in Santa from American Schoolchildren when I need a really strong bonding agent. Well, that and fairy farts, but I think it’s a given to say you use fairy farts as a catalyst to make Santa Faith stick.

June 22, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Open Letter to Ma-Ti

Dear Ma-ti,

Look, we’re all very sorry we made fun of your power. It was very mean of us to claim that Heart is a useless element, or even to suggest it wasn’t an element at all. That was both thoughtless and cruel. For that, we deeply and sincerely apologize. Okay?

Now will you get to the rest of the Planeteers, yell “Heart!” and fucking summon Captain Planet already? Seriously dude, this letting the Gulf get buttfucked while you sit around negotiating who gets to be on the Burger King Glass is a dick move of epic proportions.

June 21, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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June 20, 2010 Posted by | Photo | | Leave a comment

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June 19, 2010 Posted by | Photo | | Leave a comment

Debbie’s Story Part Seven

Debbie’s Story

A Jack Collier Story

By Brett N. Lashuay

 

Read last week’s entry here

 

 

Part Seven

December 20th

Mandolin Rain

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June 18, 2010 Posted by | Fiction, Jack | | Leave a comment

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June 18, 2010 Posted by | Photo | | Leave a comment