I'll come up with something in a minute.

In defense of Polyamory.

I’ve come to a conclusion about Polyamory. It’s perfect. Not as a situation, because each person must decide that for themselves, but as a word. Some people like to say it should be multiamory or polyphilia. Because, according to these people Mixing Greek and Latin is just plain wrong. Well I say, “Fuck you motherfucker! I’ll say whatever I want bitch! Come on over here and I’ll stick my foot so far up your ass we’ll need a dentist to help get back my shoe.” But that’s because I’m an angry and combative person.

In reality, I like the word exactly how it is. Is it broken? Yes, but I leave it broken because I like it broken. Language needs a good buttfucking now and then, and I’m pretty proud to be a member of the crowd that is gleefully dropping a train on this bitch of a language put together by a pack of 17th Latin obsessed introverts who almost never got laid. English needs to remember its roots, remember who and what it is! The thieving bastard child of a whore language, raised by the sort of demented characters that think nothing of have 86 words meaning almost but not quite the exact same thing.

You see my dears, my darlings, the word is a perfect representation of the relationship style. It’s something that traditionally minded people just can’t fuckin’ cope with. They look at a person with many lovers, who all know about each other, and appreciate one another and *BOOM!* mind=blown. Lots of nasty words are thrown, but you either get used to it, you confront the bitches, or you embrace them, seduce them, and draw them into your cabal. Then you make them talk funny by saying words that just don’t go together under proper grammatical terms. Because THAT is how we roll. We’re taking English back to the old school roots, when it would sneak up behind other languages, knock them over the head and then go through their pockets looking for loose vocabulary. I like my language angry, scrappy, and ready for either a good fuck or a good fight. I’ve got the single most fluid and dangerous language on the planet and I’m not afraid to use it!

It’s not traditional, it doesn’t follow the rules and it flaunts the breaking of bullshit rules by fucking with the very fabric of language itself. Yeah, we’re going for the rules of society, language and after that… reality itself!

What I’m saying is, if the Higgs boson is ever found, I expect the scientist responsible to celebrate with her boyfriend, her girlfriend and her boyfriend’s boyfriend. Because I still view science as being performed by one lone person with a lab coat and a basement lab. Also, little known fact, if you always suggest that you expect breakthroughs to come from a woman, then chicks will dig you that little bit more. Just a protip from an expert so confident in his skills that he’s willing to show the inner workings. Cup and balls with clear plastic cups mothafucka!

Edit: And yet, for all that defiance, I still changed it’s to its when I noticed I was using it wrong.

September 6, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 1 Comment


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