I'll come up with something in a minute.

Open Letter

Dear Def Leppard,

Point One: Learn to spell.
Point Two: You don’t just happen to be a man. You’ve been male since the spermatozoa stage of your life.
Point Three: She doesn’t just happen to be a woman.
Point Four: I really doubt that you just happen to be together. I think you planned this. Stop making it sound like this is some sort of happy accident.
Point Five: Only Prince can do wimpy love ballads and still be taken seriously when he rocks the fuck out.
Point Six: You are not Prince.
Point Seven: YOU ARE NOT PRINCE! These things bear repeating.

October 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

No sir, I don’t like it

Do you remember the first time you decided that you didn’t like something and that you were okay with that? What I mean is, do you remember not being into something despite the fact that everyone you knew was into it? It seems to me that this would actually be a seminal moment for a young person, and a crucial part of their development. We’re not even talking about social pressure, or people treating you like you’re crazy for not being into something. I’m talking about being so young that your enthusiasm just gets swept along with everyone else and you decide to like something almost because everyone around you does.

Except, one day it stops working. You know? Let’s just say that it’s 1985, you’re a boy and everyone is crazy for those robots that turn into cars or planes or ordinary household objects. Except, you just don’t care about cars turning into soldiers or jets turning into treacherous douchebags or a box chicken nuggets turning into alligators or whatever. Now, if you were younger you might have said you liked them, but you like G.I. Joe or The Centurions or something where people are the heroes better, but now you just explain you’re not into them and you don’t really care.

What I’m trying for here, is when you realized that it was actually sort of okay not to be into something just because everyone else was into it. We all have some things we’re just not into, and for the most part, we’re cool with it and so are other people. Now granted, some people still loose their shit if you don’t have the latest smartphone or whatever useless item the hell Apple has foisted upon humanity this week, but I’m not talking about those dicks. I’m talking about normal, everyday people who accept that not every person they meet is going to be into exactly everything that they’re into. Some people watch American Idol, some people watch Lost (assuming both those shows are still on) and for the most part, people are cool with that.

There has to be a point though, where you realized that it actually was okay not to like something popular. I’m trying to remember what mine was, but I can’t quite come up with it. I know it had to be sometime in middle school, but I can’t put my finger on any one thing. I think because I never cared about sports, that might be my thing, but I can’t help but think there’s something else.

October 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment