I'll come up with something in a minute.

Do NOT listen to these people! Only listen to me!

Okay, you can listen to some of what the writer of this article is saying, but by all means skip #3, #6, #7 and #9!

The chicken broth/ water idea has been floating around for years, but it’s false. The problem is, animal fat & protein releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel good. This is as technical as I’ma gonna get! Without the fat, people tend to eat more looking for the mild emotional high they would get from eating the fat. And besides, even if you don’t eat more, do you really want to go through life not eating the skin off the turkey? Do you really want to avoid having butter and sour cream in your masheded patoes? Don’t you want to cut loose for just one day of the year? If you don’t scoff cheeseburgers every other day, it shouldn’t be a big deal.

However, I will agree with some of this. Don’t skip breakfast, do start with some soup, have some orange juice instead of gin, and go for a walk after dinner. #8 sounds like sort of a neat idea, but I’m not sure it will replace real pie. I’m not even going to address the tablespoon to serve thing because it’s fucktarded.

What shocks me is that they don’t mention the most important thing! Here is it, the thing you should remember for Thanksgiving…

Eat with people you like to talk to.

Ta-Da! That’s a number one hit right there. When you talk, you eat more slowly and you get to feeling full with less food. Granted, this may mean skipping your relatives, but you know, fuck ’em. Grandma has been a pain in the ass these last three years and Aunt Mertle was a stinking rotten bitch when she was a kid too. Just ask your dad. No one has EVER liked Aunt Mertle. Go ahead, call your friends and see if they want to share in the turkey instead.

Also, fuck Aunt Mertle. Rotten, fucking, judgmental bitch.

November 22, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. I agree. If you watch your diet the rest of the year, what’s one day.

    Comment by carrie beach | November 22, 2010 | Reply

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