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Turkeys are Pointless

This post is written by Fancy, the Ruler of the Universe.

Why do people get so wound up about the turkey being killed for us to eat it? You never hear anyone go on about the cow that was last night’s steak or the chicken in tomorrow’s soup, but good lord ‘n butter(!) they are so sad that a turkey died. This, despite the fact that a turkey is, without a doubt, the stupidest and most pointless bird I have ever had to deal with. These are not smart, nor noble, or particularly handsome creatures.

The turkeys you eat can’t even mate on their own, they need help for that. The breast is so large on a modern turkey, that the male literally can’t mount the female. So because you like white meat, we have to train people to jerk off a turkey and stick a… well, a turkey baster up another turkey, just to get more turkeys. Does that sound like an animal that could survive on its own, or does it sound like something that needs killin’?

Also, different subject, where the hell is the boy? He’s been gone for hours and these dead ninjas are starting to smell.

November 24, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , ,

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