I'll come up with something in a minute.

A VEWPRF Gift Reminder

As tomorrow is Buddha Day, I thought I would remind you of some important gift giving things.

Sometimes, people actually WANT socks. Some people would hate the idea of getting an official Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time and other long for a pink jelly butt plug. Please remember to think of the person while buying the gift. Also, remember that gifts are not a requirement but rather a way to show affection. It’s not a competition, it should just be a nice thing you’ve decided to do.

If you’re stuck though, you could always just get a Red Buddha figure for your loved ones. And you can get little Buddha figures for your friends and work mates.

It is Buddha Day after all.

December 22, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

The Buddha Day Request

Tomorrow is Buddha Day! In remembrance of that, let’s have an essay I wrote a couple of years ago!

Let me explain this for those of you who are Christian or live in primarily Christian areas as to why many non-Christians get fed up with Christmas and the forcing of Christmas upon us.

Let us imagine for a moment that you live in an alternate Universe where the Chinese used all those inventions that they came up with first and that Eastern Culture took over the world instead of Western Culture. Now let us imagine that there is a holiday at the end of December called Buddha Day. Now imagine that for two months solid, every store you went into, every ad circular, every commercial break on every TV and radio station had tons and tons of Buddha Day reminders. The Buddha Day music starts in mid November, the little red resin Buddha statues start being sold before Halloween, the big light up Buddhas start showing up before Thanksgiving. You start seeing Buddha Day things in August and the rumble becomes a huge blaring noise that just builds for four god damn months. By December you can’t go out of your house without seeing all sorts of Buddha Day decorations and being told to “Be Peaceful, Buddha Day is coming” and even when they don’t mention Buddha, you know that’s what they mean. The thin man in the green robes who delivers cakes on Buddha Day Eve might be an old throw back and more commercial than religious, but you KNOW what day he’s for. All the specials are for Buddha Day, all the commercials are for Buddha Day, all the “Holiday Editions” are always sold with traditional (if non-religious) Buddhist symbols on them.

And now here is the clincher, here is the part that gets you. No one knows a thing about Christmas or Christianity, in fact, they’re kind of dismissive about it. You tell people you don’t celebrate Buddha Day because you’re Christian and they say things like “Oh, but you must do something for it, right? I mean, for the kids at least.” Or they say things like “Oh, Christmas right, that’s the one where Moses comes back from the dead after being drowned in the big flood right?” and then they change the subject about this great gift they got their brother for Buddha Day. Anytime you try to say “Merry Christmas”to someone they give you a dirty look like you’re tying to corrupt their children with your evil Jesus thing, or they complain about these filthy minorities always having to have their own stupid minority holiday that’s just a cheep rip off of Buddha day. No one outside your little community sells anything (and I mean ANYTHING) for Christmas, you can barely find a little statue of Jesus for the dashboard of the car outside of the “Jesustown” shops. You felt lucky in the mid 90s when multiculturalism was hip and a Nickelodeon show did one (1) special just for Christmas although you can’t find it on DVD because Christmas isn’t very popular.

Under this system, you might get a little sick of Buddha Day after a while, wouldn’t you? I mean even people who celebrate complain about feeling worn down by it. It might even feel a little galling when you discover that half the Buddha Day celebrations are based on (you guessed it) Christmas celebrations that were in place before the Chinese took over Europe. For all their bitching about “The War On Buddha Day” its really been a war to squash the truth that Christians started this in the first place and are still out there. In fact you come to the conclusion that the whole “War on Buddha Day” is really an excuse to shove Buddha Day down your throat even more and to remind you that as a Christian you are a small minority in enemy territory. When anyone tries to be inclusive and says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Happy Buddha Day” small groups of religious loonies stir up a huge stink and act like Buddha Day is being erased from the calendar despite the fact that the one day holiday now covers fully a third of the year.

With all this in mind, don’t you think you might get a little hyper-sensitive about Buddha Day?

Maybe those who celebrate Buddha Day should confine it to December, at the very least?

I mean, I like Buddha Day, but I also like Christmas, Hanukkah, Dogbert Day, Yule, Kwanzaa, and all the other early winter holidays as well.

Respect for others and an understanding that not everyone celebrates Buddha Day would be nice at this time of year when we’re supposed to love our fellow humans.

Let’s not let Buddha Day take over and destroy all the other holidays, okay?

December 22, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment