I'll come up with something in a minute.

Only the queen can eat swan

Do you suppose Queen Liz 2 (Liz Harder*) actually likes swan? It would be shame if she’d rather just have a Big Mac wouldn’t it? You sort of want her going “Ooo! Swan! I get the good bit! Philly, you can Chuckles can fight over the neck. Neither of you will ever actually rule, so it doesn’t matter! I;’m going to give the throne to Harry! He at least has a fucking sense of humor! HA HA!”

I suspect it’s like the diamond encrusted royal butt plug. Sure, a diamond and gold butt plug sounds impressive. HOWEVER! I have it on good authority (Liz Harder herself) that once you actually try to insert it, you discover that diamonds are some jagged motherfuckers and it hurts like hell. She said Philip was shitting blood for a week.

*Electric Queenabo just didn’t sound right.

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December 28, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Okay so why a pair of ducks? Why-a no chicken?

The problem I have with using the time machine is the paradoxes. I never know whether any given memory is real or not.

I have the same problem, with drug induced hallucinations, but I can usually discount anything with dragons and nurses with massive rows of sharp teeth jutting from the mouth on their chests.

(P.S. If you get the joke in the title, bless your little heart)

December 28, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment