I'll come up with something in a minute.

Be More SASSY!

You remember the song It’s My Party? It’s been bugging me because I’ve heard it more than a few times lately.

Okay, the girl is bugged because her BF Johnny left her for Judy. I get that. However! She goes on about wanting him back and… why? Why does she want Johnny back? In the sequel, she gets him back and she’s so glad because she beat Judy, but honestly, why does she want him back? He’s just going to leave for some other chick the next chance he gets.

Had that giurl had a sassy gay friend, the world of pop music would have changed dramatically. Just imagine Graham Norton’s voice here… “Oh sweetie. Look at you, you’re lovely. So he decided to go fuck Judy. Well, let him. Either he’s going to get bored with her and start banging Helen on the side or Judy’s going to work out he’s not such a catch anyway. Besides, now is the time to start talking with Val. I mean look at him. He’s GORGOUS! And I think he’s been wait for a moment like this. Go talk to him. Go, go on. I’ll wait here.”* I think we should pass a law, requiring every person who might become a songwriter to have a sassy gay friend on hand for all important life moments.

There are many songs that would have been changed for the better. Just think of how different Convoy would have been if there was some guy in pink taffeta to talk down The Rubber Duck.

*In 1962, this was hugely sassy talk.

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January 28, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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