I'll come up with something in a minute.

5 things (haven’t done this in a while edition)

1. Tycho Brahe was sort of a dick, but he had a metal nose so I give him a pass.

2. You know what I’m going to miss in the future? Gay singers with strangely androgynous lyrics. Without the need for the closet, there will be less people sort of, kind of, staying in it, but not really.

3. When I get around to writing my “Kiss Me Now” list of great lines, the phrase I don’t like sand, it’s coarse and hard, not like you will NOT be on the list. The sad thing is, that line probably sounded awesome in George Lucas’s head. It would be been really something, but it isn’t.

4. I have never motorboated a woman’s breasts, nor have I wanted to. I find the idea, and the fascination it holds in some men’s minds, sort of disturbing.

5. You know what the orange juice needs? Bourbon and Rose’s Lime! You know what I don’t have in the house? Bourbon and Rose’s Lime! I’ve got gin, but no soda or vermouth. I’ve got scotch, but there are only certain situations under which I am prepared to drink scotch and this ain’t one of them. I’ve got some weird ass liquor made from hazelnuts, but quite frankly I’m not that desperate. Besides, I’ve carefully stage-managed things to avoid having any of the proper ingredients near each other, lest drinking alone ensue. After all, this ain’t December!

And no, you can’t swap bourbon for scotch because we aren’t barbarians here! Also, still don’t have any Rose’s Lime. See how carefully I’ve planned this?

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February 15, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized |

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