I'll come up with something in a minute.

No, all men know Red Socks mean sex.

I recently read an article that several people posted, and while I agree with most of what the author said, I noticed a glaring omission. At least it was glaring to me, and I’m going to mention it. I wouldn’t say that the point missed is the most important, I would put it number three or four on this list, but it is very important to me.

Men must always be the romantic pursuers.

This one frustrates the hell out of me because I am not good at pursuing romantic leads. If a girl keeps trotting just out of reach in hopes that I’ll chase her, I’m far more likely to say “Every time I start to get close, she moves away. She must not want me near her.” I know a lot of guys who are bad at working out what the girl is thinking and if she wants to be pursued or just left alone. However, good or bad, we have to do it or die alone. This is because everyone knows a girl is NEVER supposed to so much as say she likes a guy, lest she be seen as too eager and thus… slutty. It doesn’t even matter if she is sexually promiscuous*, because she chases a boy she likes, she is instantly a slut and no better than she should be. So she has to try and be subtle and send tiny hand written notes while he’s looking for billboard signs of approval.

This sets up a moronic situation where girls are sending coded signals that she thinks are obvious and men are just missing. In the end, it means that I end up listening to girls complain “I don’t know what else to do. I wore red socks.” to which I end up saying, “Well, you have to understand… wait, what?” and she says “Yeah, I wore red socks. I even pointed them out to him.”

Me: “Which means… what exactly?”
Her: “Well, the red socks means that I’m totally hot for him. That I’d fuck him in the hallway, right there and then, if only he’d ask me. But he hasn’t asked me, so he must not want me. *SOB*”
Me: “WHAT?”
Other Female: “Yeah, that’s totally what red socks mean.”
Me: “Since… fucking… when?”
There’s more to this conversation, but their end turns into more secret code talk and my end devolves into an interesting pattern of profanity and bafflement. .

The point is that it would help enormously if we all agreed that girls can pursue boys and no one is a slut or a fag for letting it happen. Also, can we all agree to either dump things like the red socks, or to give men a cheat sheet so we know what the obscure things you think you’re being obvious about actually is? Seriously, red socks? I didn’t make that shit up.

*not that I have anything against promiscuity mind.

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May 29, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

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