I'll come up with something in a minute.

It’s enough to make you want to live in a cave

Every time I start to read some literature, I get annoyed because it reminds me how ill-prepared our teachers left us and how they failed at the relatively simple prospect of teaching English to English speaking students.

The long and confused discussion over the word Rapier and the bit about the Masons in The Cask of Amontillado bugs me to this day.

And to think, it wasn’t until years later that I got even more pissed when discovering that the story had merit beyond it’s literary value! That story has a greater context, and it was never mentioned. Not once. he most interesting thing about the story was left out.

July 26, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I. Deserve. A. Cookie.

Today, an old woman told that that because Sony’s current ad campaign is “make.believe” that we were probably selling make-believe Sony products.

Because, you know, pirates are that stupid. They put right on the front that this is a fake product, for everyone to see.

She also demanded that the Sony I showed her wasn’t the one in the ad because the one in the ad never mentioned having AM/FM radio capabilities in the six (6) words that encapsulated this product in the ad. She then said she didn’t want the unit that was easy to get at, but the one behind it, the one wrapped in security items that are hard to remove. Her reason was that there was a small blemish on the front of the front unit. She then neglected to notice the large slash in the back of the box she took, the one she made me show her the removed security unit to prove it wasn’t the one with the tiny blemish on the box. Having finally gotten her out of the store, and begun ranting to my young apprentice, she CAME BACK because she didn’t think the unit played CD’s despite saying it was a CD player in big letters on the front.


At no time did I snap at this woman, at no time did a single cruel or even wayward thing leave my lips. I didn’t punch her, or stab her, or tear her stupid head off her shoulders so that I could crack the skull and prove there was no brain in side her head. I was the peak of politeness and understanding, a customer service rep well worth the $8 an hour I get, and more besides. As a result, she’ll come to me again next time and a little more of my soul will be battered out of existence.

I only tell you this tale because otherwise it will go unremarked and unremembered. My young apprentice saw it, but who will he tell?

If the aliens come tomorrow, or should the minions of hell decide to rise up next week, or if perchance the zombies put in an appearance, they’d better watch their fuckin’ step. I am SO ready to curb stomp a motherfucker and quite frankly their death lasers don’t scare me none. I ain’t scared of nothin’ no more. I help the elderly purchase electronic equipment, there is nothing left in this world that can frighten me.

July 26, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment