I'll come up with something in a minute.

Polyamory Q & A: Question 1

You can still ask questions here, or in the comments section of this post. Some of these answers will be longer than others, and not all of them where taken from readers. Plus, some of them will go off into tangents and I will be describing some hideous failures as well as successes. Be aware.

1. Isn’t it true that this is just a male fantasy vehicle? I mean, it’s mostly guys suggesting this, right?

Well, no. In my experience, it’s mostly women who suggest this sort of thing. I don’t know if it’s a success thing or what, but most the relationships where I asked who instigated or brought up the whole poly thing, most the time it comes down to a woman. Our own introduction to the idea as a defined thing came from someone who had the ulterior motive that if she got us into poly, she might be able to sleep with us. I’m not sure if it’s just the people I’ve talked to, because I have a few poly friends who I haven’t asked how they got started, but out of the ones I have asked, it’s been seven to one a woman introduced the idea.

Now, I’ll admit falling into it, but I’ll also admit that every time someone new has come along I’ve been the one to sit them down and explain the rules as it were. So I’m sort of the exception on this one? Of course, explaining rules and having rules isn’t enough. Clearly, you need to have regular meetings to make sure everyone understands the rules and that everyone’s understanding of the arrangement still agrees with everyone else’s understanding, otherwise you explode and spin out and almost die in a fiery crash that can be seen from space.

This happened to a friend of mine.

August 27, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

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