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Polyamory Q&A: Question 5

5. Lately I’ve been wondering about poly relationships over the long term. Relationships I thought were going to last didn’t. How long can a poly relationship really last?

How long can any relationship last? Long term can be tough, you add extra people and the toughness of long term grows exponentially. Take a simple three way relationship. A has an individual relation ship with B. A also has an individual relationship with C. C and B have an individual relationship with each other. But wait, there’s more! Then there is the relationship between A, B and C as a unit. Then you have how A feels about B and C in their relationship, how B feels about A and C and how C feels about B and A. Even if B and C aren’t actually involved, by dint of them both seeing A, they are still in a relationship of some variety. Now if C has an outside relationship, then the math gets even harder and I’m no good at math. There are a lot of variables, a lot of relationships, and all of them have to work for a poly relationship to work. When things break down then things fall apart. All that being said, I know some poly people who were together longer than Syd, Holly and I and as far as I know they still are together. It can work, but things have to be properly functioning.

I’ll say it like this, and then say no more. It’ll last as long as it lasts, try to enjoy the ride. When it ends, you’ll have your memories. It will end, because everything ends. People die, things change, end comes. You will one day have to meet the Sky Bunny and talk to the Great Pixie and everything will end. What is certain, and how long have you really got? Only Fancy knows, and she ain’t telling.

August 31, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

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