I'll come up with something in a minute.

I have written a cover letter.

I have written my cover letter, let me know what you think.

Greetings and Congratulations,

What you hold in your hand, is possibly the single most important document you may ever touch. This not just a list of accomplishments, qualifications and history, but an opportunity that rarely comes once in a lifetime and never twice. You are currently in possession of the resume of Brett N. Lashuay, possibly the most important employee that you have hither fore failed to have in your organization. However, it cannot all be put upon your shoulders. He has been engaged with other projects for sometime and is only now allowing his extensive wealth of experience to be placed at the disposal of your company.

Allow me to be simple about what the situation before you is my friend. This is one of those times when you should look no further than the contact information and the only course of action is to make contact and request an audience with Mister Lashuay so that he might interview you for the position of being his employer. Failure to act can only result in missing this unique opportunity and the untold benefits that can come from taking hold of the future and selecting the correct choice.

Ignore the woefully inadequate written facts; there are things that cannot be put on a resume. Genius can’t be nailed down, brilliance can’t be quantified, and Brett N. Lashuay is greater than the mere scrawlings on the next sheet. Allow me to be frank with you my hypothetical friend. You need things done, many and various, and you need someone who can perform all the little tasks, many of which you may not even be aware of until they have been performed. You need someone who can spot all the tiny details, who can make quick decisions and has the leadership skills to inspire his fellow workers to greater heights than any of them had ever dreamed.

This is hardly a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Only once in a hundred years does a prospect this golden come the way of a lucky individual such as you. I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.

Yours sincerely,

Fancy (Ruler of the Universe)

Since I’m pretty sure I’m not qualified for any of the jobs I’ve been told about recently, I figure why not try for the insane route? Right?

Advertisements

October 17, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment