I'll come up with something in a minute.

On the Question of the Internet as a Platform for Courtly Love and Its Relation to Polyamory

Once Upon a Time, I said a thing.

Some long ages ago, I presented the idea that if Courtly Love has a modern place in the world, it is on the internet. My main idea behind this shocking revelation, that shocked the world by reveling the fact that it was a shocking revelation, was that the central idea of courtly love is perfect for the internet. While the days of courtly love included much stage management and adultery, there was at its core a pure idea. The idea being that love was above such petty things as physical contact. In the days of arranged marriages, there was a definite need for people to be able to sigh at each other in a garden over the azaleas. A safety valve had to be invented, or the whole system would have collapsed under its own weight.

Okay, you say, so what? We don’t live in the medieval system anymore, as you might have noticed what with the relative rarity of witch burnings. Castle sieges are a thing of the past and we haven’t had a dragon attack in months now. In fact, we are so far from the medieval world that any attempt to turn back the clock makes people wonder when I’m going to come out against birth control and women wearing pants. I’m not, don’t worry, but I would suggest things are not as much changed as they appear.

With poly, and distance, comes new problems, vis-à-vis relationships. Perhaps problem is not the word, perhaps issues is more the phrase we should be looking for. Even the idea of traditional relationships is slowly, but steadily breaking down. If you like, the concept of Friends with Benefits, is changing (or has changed) everything. While I’m not going to suggest that now is the time to go jump that hottie in marketing for a quick fling (although, you know, if you don’t do it now…) I am going to suggest that the traditional model is outdated and in need of a serious overhaul. The concept of love has become far more malleable over the last decade or so and the acceptability of that change is growing.

So where does that take us? Why to the internet of course, where the concept of Courtly Love should be able to exist easily. The idea of long distance flirtation, with a flexible amount of emotional investment is what many people are forced to do these days. We find people we want to stay in contact with, people we’re attracted to for one reason or another, and we use the internet to do that. In some ways, we come closer to the ideal of Courtly Love, since in many cases we have no real idea what the person at the other end of that wall of text looks like. Yes, we might find out through one method or another, but we often fall for the person’s thoughts and ideas first.

That’s what the purer idea of Courtly Love is supposed to be about. I say supposed because pure things rarely ever exist in the wild and we both know it. I have many people on line that I care quite deeply about, some of them I am attracted to physically, but as I continually bang on, I’m far more interested in a woman that has something to say than one that will flash her tits. I’m not against tit flashing, and I’ve seen a lot of the flesh of people I’ve never seen in the flesh, but it’s less important than the thoughts and ideas that she might have.

When it comes to the exchange of ideas, and the exchanging of affection without coming in contact with one another, you can’t get a much better medium than the internet. You can either form your missives in short tweets, long epic poems, photographs or drawings that represent your feelings, or even a video where you explain your love to the objects of your affection. The playing field is quite large and open, for whatever expression of whatever emotions you’re having. You could even learn to play the lute, or possibly the banjolele and record a song where you express your feelings like the troubadours of old did.

We live with an ideal platform for expressing affection, while further breaking down or at least redefining the concept of relationship, which has been plaguing mankind for some time. Polyamory has rightly gained a wider acceptance among those plugged into the internet among our generation than those who are not. I was going to talk about poly more, but I don’t want this to get unreadable in length. At the very least, we’ve given the world a way to flirt shamelessly and harmlessly with good looking people from all over the world. And that is not nothing, that is something.

Also, you’re looking quite hot lately, have I mentioned that darling?

March 6, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , ,

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