I'll come up with something in a minute.

Think about it, this squirrel story could get dark

Think of it! Long, drawn out passages about poor Squirrel Nutkins starving to death, trying to eat tree bark, eventually even going that final step and eating another dead squirrel before giving it up and dying at the foot of the old oak tree.

The rats finding and defiling his body for kicks, while his kids watch.

Some moral crusading Badger trying to use the death of poor Nutkins to argue against the libertarian ways of the forest. That same badger being shot down in the street by the weasels for being a unionizing troublemaker. A poor mouse, being forced to sell her body for acorns, beholden to a frog pimp. If only Nutkins had made it through the winter, none of this need ever happened.

When I tell a story about a squirrel, we don’t end with a party at Christopher Robin’s. A shoot out, maybe.

Yeah, I go places sometimes. Dark places, places where the light never does seem to shine. I live in the naked forest, and I’ve heard all the tales.

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March 15, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I’m a satirist, I can make a story about a squirrel sick.

How about this, a squirrel looses his nuts, and he thinks he won’t make it through the winter.

ONLY!

The catch is, he doesn’t make it through the winter, and his death sends shock waves through the forest community. Bonny the Bat starts drinking heavily, and Sam the Snake takes advantage of the situation, buying up all the property before being shot down by Danny the Duck.

There can be an extended piece where, overcome with despair, Chirpy the Chipmunk throws herself off the top of her tree, only to discover she’s actually too light to reach terminal velocity and just gets banged up. She can dance with death, until Bert Bunny comes over and slaps some sense into her before admitting he loves her, just as Willie the Wolf descends on them both and rips them limb from limb.

The Death of Squirrel Nutkins! A 12 volume epic tale of struggle, failure, and the inevitable pall of death’s presence.

You know? For kids!

March 15, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My Problems With Game of Thrones

The other day, I got a comment to a post I made complaining about the three episodes of Game Of Thrones I’d “watched” a while back. The comment was everything you wish it wasn’t. I’ve deleted the comment, the post and all, because I deleted the post on LJ a long time ago (I wasn’t making my points clearly and I didn’t want to argue about something that was just making me angry) and just forgot to delete the one on WordPress.

You can read the rest, but you've only yourself to blame. Continue reading

March 15, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment