I'll come up with something in a minute.

IMGP4478

IMGP4478 by greyweirdo
IMGP4478, a photo by greyweirdo on Flickr.

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October 10, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

So I cut myself.

I own dozens of knives, I handle those knives all the time. I use them at work, I use them at home, I use them at play. Inevitably, I will occasionally cut myself. About once a year I actually cut myself bad enough to bleed. Today was the day, and it was a doozy.

Syd bought a Dr Who set when Amazon had it on sale, so basically this is David Tennant’s fault.

I got the box from Amazon and decided to open it. Having a knife to hand I started to slash, but I lost grip of the box and the knife went into my right index finger. Now… a Japanese carpentry knife is not like a normal pocket knife. It’s blade is not ground at an edge of 1/4 mm like most knifes. It’s edge is fashioned is such a way that it goes all the way up. Grab a pocket knife and look at the edge. If that’s too hard, look at the graphic on this page. If you cut yourself with a normal knife, it will go in a 1/4 of a centimeter and stop. The knife I decided to cut myself with was a full flat, so the cutting surface just kept sweeping in. What I’m saying is, if you want superior cutting power at a fairly low price, go with the Japanese carpentry knife.

Now where was I? Oh yes, the knife had slipped and entered my flesh. Half an inch later I caught it, exclaimed a profane worn in surprise and then another upon looking at how deep the cut was and then yet a separate mouth washing with soap worthy word when the pain decided it liked the look of the place and moved in. Now, there was pain, but not much. Mostly, there was annoyance. I’m a tough guy, I don’t feel much pain. I am literally one of those men who are rather insensitive to pain stimuli. It’s evidently part of the whole ADD thing from what I’ve been told. So… yea?

Fortunately, we are dealing with a razor sharp blade with a clean, straight edge. The cut was very easy to close and was not a problem to deal with as a result. I squeezed my hand into a fist, which closed the wound but didn’t stop the bleeding. I worked this out when it was running down my knuckles. I wrapped my finger with a name brand facial tissue and rushed to Syd’s place of work to pick her up. Oh the JOY of sharing a car, am I right kids? So when Syd got out of work, I showed her the wrapped wound and we went to the hospital.

Thing is… by the time we actually got to talk to someone in triage, this had happened about an hour before. So I am over what little shock there was, and I’m a tough guy, and today… today had already used up my ration of fucks for the week and as such I was unable to give any more. Someone asks me my pain between one and ten and I say “Oh… I dunno, three?” They ask what I did this with, “An imported Japanese carpenter’s knife with one hell of a sharp edge.” So I’m joking with the team, smiling, not really worrying about things, being a friendly guy with a minor inconvenience.

That was probably a stupid thing to do. About an hour later, Syd theorizes that they were waiting for the wound to close itself so they could just put a band-aid on it and call it a day. Instead, they open the wound, look inside, and announce what I knew two hours previously… I would need three stitches. They inject my finger with something to numb the area, which hurt because they had to jab my fingie! Then this very nice woman stitched my hand, but because of where the numbing stuff went in, they missed the launch point for the third stitch and I FELT that bastard going in. But no morphine? Yeah, no pain killers at all. I’m going to guess my easy going manner and relaxed attitude to danger and damage means that they said “We won’t even offer this bad mothafucka no morphine. Look at him! He’s so cool, when he goes to sleep, sheep count him. It would be an insult to suggest that he might need something to take the edge off.” I mean, they were right, but one likes to be asked.

After that, I got my very own tetanus shot! Try to hide your jealousy. With the wrapped finger and the shot in the other arm, the nurse basically said “Yeah, you’re not going to work tomorrow.” and let me go at that. She was more honest than the person who jabbed Syd, who said “You might be a little tender” and instead told me “You probably won’t be able to move your arm when you get up tomorrow.” So yeah, work is off. So if called in, told them I wouldn’t be in and left it at that. I was drained at that moment and was only able to respond with politeness, sarcasm or affection. They got politeness, but I ran out of that because I had to use it all day after I burned through my fucks. You guys get affection.

AND NOW FOR THE PUNCHLINE!

The thing is, going purely by my emotional reaction, slashing my finger to the bone was not the worst thing that happened to me today.

Yeah… put that in your Funk & Wagnalls and smoke it.

October 10, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

IMGP4466

IMGP4466 by greyweirdo
IMGP4466, a photo by greyweirdo on Flickr.

Goddamn emergancy cute kitten to the muthafuckin’ rescue!!!

October 10, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

She deserved a better photo than this…

IMGP7825

October 10, 2012 Posted by | Photo | | Leave a comment