I'll come up with something in a minute.

The Christmas Geek

I had an idea about geeks today.

I think I know a way to describe Geekery to normal people, and that is Christmas.

Think about it for a moment. Special shirts, decorations, video sets, expanded universe books, people going WAY over to top and all the deep need to express (usually to me) why the thing they love is so damn awesome. Christmas is to normal people as *Geek Thing* is to Geeks.

Allow me to express this in a sentence without nouns. “Aren’t you so excited about THING coming? I’m so thrilled about THING that I can hardly stand it. THING is so awesome! Let’s talk about THING for the next seven hours so I can tell you my favorite bits.”

Could be the new Star Trek movie, could be Christmas. The only difference is that people don’t get a seven foot tall Klingon Statue MOST people don’t get a seven foot tall Klingon Statue and put it up in their living room when a new Star Trek movie comes out. And yet, no one blinks at the seven foot tall fir tree strung with lights.

I really think I’m on to something here, and I’m surprised I’ve never heard this idea expressed in this way. Star Trek (or Dr Who, or whatever your geek crack is) is a little like having Christmas come every day. Or at least having it come soon. At the very least, Christmas is a good analogy to what geekery feels like in its pure form. Or, if I must boil it down to the simplest idea, Christmas makes geeks of a lot of people. There are Star Trek Geeks, and Firefly Geeks, and Dr Who Geeks, and Gamer Geeks and people who put a reasonable amount of interest into Star Wars because it deserves it and Lovecraft Geeks and so on and so forth… and there are Christmas Geeks.

You can spot the Christmas Geek, wearing their Festivus sweater in fucking June, listening to Hanukkah tunes in goddamn August, baking those Winterval cookies in son of a bitching October, culminating in a near orgasm of frenzy when the Feast of St. Stephen actually arrives, and refuses to let go of the Buddha Day turkey well into *think of a profanity for* March. They watch all the movies (ALL THE MOVIES) listen to music from artists they’d normally run screaming from, just because they recorded the right kind of song, keep buying things all year round, sometimes it can take years for certain decorations to get noticed by someone else and finally be taken down. Does any of this sound familiar? Oh you who actually bought the Captain Kirk Cologne?

The thing is, what I’m really saying here is this. Next time someone wants to know why you get so excited about Star Trek, or Twilight, or whatever your crack might be, you can explain not that “It’s like Christmas.” But rather that “This is exactly like Christmas. From the geedaws to the costumes. It’s just blue and gold rather than red and green. Because you don’t want to get caught wearing red. SRSLY!”

And if that’s not enough, you can at least smugly claim. “Oh, I see, THAT nativity set for under the Christmas tree is worth $500 but my Captain Kirk figure that I have on my desk isn’t worth $250? Yeah, you leave me my geekery mom and I’ll leave you with yours.”

For what it’s worth, it’s not worth $250, I saw it on Amazon for $120. You got robbed.

December 9, 2012 Posted by | VEWPRF | | Leave a comment

The Great VEWPRF Death March – Scrooge (one of them anyway)

Scrooge (1935 Dir. Henry Edwards)

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December 9, 2012 Posted by | VEWPRF | | Leave a comment