I'll come up with something in a minute.

A Retail St. Crispin’s Day Speech.

What’s they that wishes more employees? No, my fair Manager; if we are mark’d to work, we are enow to do our store loss; and if to work, the fewer employees, the greater share of honour. God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one employee more. If it be a sin to covet paychecks, we are the most offending souls alive.

No, faith, my manager, wish not one associate from another store. God’s peace! I would not lose so great an honour as one employee more methinks would share from me for the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more! Rather proclaim it, through my host, that they which hath no stomach to this Holiday, let them depart. Their passport shall be made, and cookies for the trip put into their pocket. We would not work in that person’s company that fears their fellowship to work with us.

This day is call’d Black Friday. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d, and rouse them at the name of Thanksgiving. They that shall live this day, and see old age, will yearly on the vigil feast their neighbours, And say “To-morrow is Black Friday.”Then will they strip their sleeve and show their scars, and say “These wounds I had on Black Friday.”

Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, but they’ll remember, with advantages, what feats they did that day. This story shall the good man teach his son; and Black Friday shall ne’er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, but we in it shall be remembered! The front-register, the floor runner, the manager and assistant manager. Be in their flowing shopping bags freshly rememb’red.

We few, we happy few, we band of co-workers; for they to-day that sheds their blood with me shall be my co-worker; be they ne’er so vile, this day shall gentle their condition; and gentlemen in regular jobs now-a-bed shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that worked with us upon this Black Friday!

Advertisements

November 25, 2013 - Posted by | VEWPRF | ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: