I was going to say that a little while ago I talked about internet crushes being like Courtly Love in this post. Except I can’t, because it wasn’t a little while ago. It was almost two years ago. The idea keeps coming back to me though, because it’s the closest analogue I can find for the fact that we feel very close to people we’ve never met and may never meet. We see pictures, so we can speak of beauty and for a given value, we do have actual relationships with them.
Of course, we can’t touch, in many cases we can’t even really talk to each other, which is why the courtly idea keeps coming back to me. I won’t pretend that this is some ideal love, or anything like a superior love, those concepts were injected to make people think not acting was more satisfying than actually acting. The thought being that the idea of consummation was even more fun than actual consummation, which is foolish if you’ve ever actually had an orgasm. However, it does seem that by studying the Courtly Love rules and regulations, we can sort of find ways to cope with things like crushing over vast distances.
I keep thinking the internet is like having a person you’re deeply hot for being in the same court, only instead of decorum you have the fact that the object of your affection lives in another city, state, country or even on another continent. It’s not an exact metaphor, because the people in the court could slip off for half an hour when no one was looking and do the business behind the tapestries. Where as all we have is cyber and webcams, and neither of those are nearly as much fun.
So, what I’m wondering is does anyone else see what I’m talking about here? Do we agree? Every time I think about this subject, I feel like I’m missing some crucial piece of the puzzle. Like there’s something that need to be said about this, but I don’t quite know what it actually is yet. There is something about poly in there too, but I’m not sure quite how to phrase it.