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MOTHER OF CHEESE!

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April 12, 2015 Posted by | Photo, Photography, Poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Five things (Current Events Have Presented a Need for These Statments Edition)

1. Until yesterday, it never occurred to me just to what extent snow storms play merry hell with autofocus. Seriously, I was trying to get a picture and all I was getting was the whir of the motor as the lens tried to fix on every falling flake.

2. 8/5ths of the time, when this blog goes silent and merely presents photographs, it’s not because I’ve got nothing to say, but rather I’ve got no energy to say it.

3. I seem to have lost my ammo pack with my SD and business cards in it at the zoo. I know this, because someone at the zoo e-mailed me to let me know he’d found it and would hold it for me. I’ll have to go back there tomorrow. I had a feeling that might happen with my new map bag, because the little pocket has no secure buttons for it.

4. In related news, I need new cards, a card case, half a pack of cigarettes and sunglasses that I can wear when it gets dark.

5. Going to have to make marshmallows next week, and take photos of the process for a new project that I’ll discuss later.

January 30, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Five things (Posts I Want To Write Edition)

1. How English class nearly snuffed out my desire to read anything, ever.

2. How a drunk, two college teachers and abridged audiobooks brought me back to reading.

3. My personal history of blade ownership, from knives to swords and beyond.

4. A how-to on making the best chili ever.

5. What I expect people to bring to a relationship besides just themselves.

January 20, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Five Things (Stuff I’ll Never Do Edition)

1. I’m just never gonna grow a Freddie Mercury Mustache

2. I’ll never eat a dodo egg omelet.

3. I’ll never go to bed with Marilyn Monroe.

4. I’ll never ride a J X-7 Star Cruiser through the Horse Head Nebula (but who would, those things are death traps)

5. I’ll never guest star on an episode of the original Star Trek.

January 18, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

5 things (Marshmallow Edition)

1. Made some Rice Crispy Treats yesterday from my own marshmallows. They are better than yours, because of the home made marshmallowness.

2. Going to buy some agar and see how vegan marshmallows turn out. I want to make sure that vegans can have marshmallows too. The Internet claims that agar can be swapped for powdered gelatine on a one-to-one ratio. The only thing that gets me is WOW(!) agar is waaaay more expensive than gelatin. Not going to buy it today, that’s for damn sure.

3. You can use pomegranate juice instead of water when you make marshmallows. I assume cranberry, grape, apple, and prune juice would also work.

4. If you boil too much liquid off your syrup, you can add some back during the mixing process, but this is dangerous as you’d need to know exactly what the mixture should look like while mixing or you could over do it. I actually under did it, so that batch was still kind of stiff, but as Syd is just going to put them in hot cocoa, it doesn’t really matter. You can’t add sugar if you didn’t boil enough, you get gritty mallows. Perhaps if I try with powdered next time…

5. It still feels like I’ve performed a magic trick every time I pull one of these marshmallow out and munch one. I did this, I made this thing, I can produce candy! I can add pomegranate juice to the mix and feel like some sort of culinary god, because no one I know can even conceive of the idea of making a marshmallow in their own kitchen. At least know one I know IRL, some of you internet people probably know about it.

December 20, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

5 things (haven’t done this in a while edition)

1. Tycho Brahe was sort of a dick, but he had a metal nose so I give him a pass.

2. You know what I’m going to miss in the future? Gay singers with strangely androgynous lyrics. Without the need for the closet, there will be less people sort of, kind of, staying in it, but not really.

3. When I get around to writing my “Kiss Me Now” list of great lines, the phrase I don’t like sand, it’s coarse and hard, not like you will NOT be on the list. The sad thing is, that line probably sounded awesome in George Lucas’s head. It would be been really something, but it isn’t.

4. I have never motorboated a woman’s breasts, nor have I wanted to. I find the idea, and the fascination it holds in some men’s minds, sort of disturbing.

5. You know what the orange juice needs? Bourbon and Rose’s Lime! You know what I don’t have in the house? Bourbon and Rose’s Lime! I’ve got gin, but no soda or vermouth. I’ve got scotch, but there are only certain situations under which I am prepared to drink scotch and this ain’t one of them. I’ve got some weird ass liquor made from hazelnuts, but quite frankly I’m not that desperate. Besides, I’ve carefully stage-managed things to avoid having any of the proper ingredients near each other, lest drinking alone ensue. After all, this ain’t December!

And no, you can’t swap bourbon for scotch because we aren’t barbarians here! Also, still don’t have any Rose’s Lime. See how carefully I’ve planned this?

February 15, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

5 Things (Secret Confession Edition)

#1. I have never owned a pair of pinking shears, and I never want to.

#2. I like exactly two musicals. The Muppet Movies don’t count because you could take those sogns away and not hurt the narrative of the story.

#3. I am entranced with historical figures like Charles VI of France. I like him because he was so crazy that he thought he was made of glass. I read a historical account once that Chuckie there kept a glass maker around for a while so that if his head borke the glassier could repair it or make another one. I like my royals crazy.

#4. There was a time when I would shamelessly eat Cracker Jack. These days, I don’t like it so much. Besides, the prize has sucked for years.

#5. I’ve been known to feed strays. Both the animal and the human kinds.

December 14, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Five Things

1. I really like the Hieronymus Bosch painting The Conjurer, becuase the dog in it is wearing motley. No one dresses dogs up in motley anymore.

2. The word Circus, comes from the word circle. First attested in English 14th century, the word circus derives form Latin “circus”, which is the romanization of the Greek “κίρκος” (kirkos), itself the anagram of the Homeric Greek “κρίκος” (krikos), meaning “circle” or “ring”. So now you know.

3. Lillian Gish was a hottie

4. I very much want to see a version of Hamlet where Hammy and Fortinbras solve crimes and foil a bank robbery with a 10 minute shoot out and Ophlia decides to lez it up with whoever else is on stage in a skirt. You know… for kids!

5. I’m not all that wild about Vincent van Gogh’s work. More into Mark Rothko, even though that poor bastard was ripped off left and right.

October 12, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Five Things (Writing Projects edition)

I have five stories in the works right now, in that they’re in my head. I’m thinking about which ones to proceed with.

1. New Jack Collier story. I’ve got an epic and a drawing room Agatha Christie style story in mind. These are two stories, but they’re the same character.

2. Weirdo vs. The Flying Saucers. The sixth book in the grand epic I’ve been talking about in veiled terms since starting this thing. Spoiler: they fight against flying saucer bound bad guys.

3. A children’s story. I was thinking of writing a story about a squirrel (possibly named Cyril) that didn’t have enough nuts for the winter because the chipmunks stole them. So he goes on a bloody streak of vengeance, killing each of the chipmunks and stealing back what’s his. This will involve garroting, stabbing, shooting and beating to death with a little novelty baseball bat (Because chipmunks and squirrels are small, see) The only thing that was going to keep him from going over the edge was the rabbit who lived at the bottom of his tree and tries to bring him back into the light. Sort of Baby’s First Noir. As an added bonus, the moral lesson is going to be “Sometimes life is hard and murder makes it all better.” Because I like getting angry letters from parent groups.

4. A horror story where a war vet is thought to be paranoid because he thinks the fey folk are stalking him. The only thing that keeps them back is steel, so he collects a lot of knives. I was thinking of having his wife tell the story first person. She can slowly buy into his delusions or find out it’s all true.

5. Devil Inc. Which I’ve talked about before.

May 26, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Five Things I’m Fascinated By

When was the last time I did a five things list? Last month it seems. Well, let’s do another one okay? Let’s do this one!

1. Unexplained oddities. I like a mystery, and I like things to be odd. I could have picked a lot of things, but I went with this one Cracked article.

2. Language of the Fan. Yes, I know it was a marketing idea, yes I know it’s way more recent than most people know, yes I know it’s silly. I don’t care. I really love the idea of women using fans to secretly chit-chat.

3. Retrofuturism. There are few things I love so much as having a look back and seeing what people thought the world was going to be like. I prefer serious attempts at futurism rather than those made for entertainment. Star Trek is neat and all, but I really dig seeing how scientist who knew what they were talking about thought we’d live.

4. Women. What? I happen to find the thoughts and ideas of women to be fascinating. And, yes, on a purely aesthetic level, I also think the female form is interesting and beautiful to look at. Yes, okay fine, I like women on a sexual level as well. Nothing to be ashamed of, I’m a healthy young lad and it does factor as number three behind brains and just looking. Odd as it may sound, I really do like most of you for your minds.

5. Marketing failures. Let’s just go down a list of some of my favorites… OK Soda, Crystal Pepsi, New Coke, Arch Deluxe and of course, Premier cigarettes. Yes, that last one isn’t really a marketing failure because Premiers never really made it to the market, but it goes so well with the rest of the list.

March 23, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | Leave a comment